


Ricky Lalonde Starts A Friendship Under Peculiar Circumstances That Will Last A Lifetime

by svllux



Series: Dramakidsstuck Backstories [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Gen, Humanstuck, dramakidsstuck, pre-transition trans characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:03:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3624198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svllux/pseuds/svllux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ricky Lalonde had no idea what a custody battle was.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>
  <i>"Sorry to do this to ya Renee, but the squirt's babysitter cancelled last second," the man said to the secretary, rather out of breath as he plopped his daughter in the chair next to Ricky. Renee didn't seem to have any response to this, so he kept going.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Swear to God she won't make a peep, iPad's got a full charge and her hankerin' for candy crush is impossible to satisfy. God, that bitch is gonna get a real kick out of how late I am."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ricky Lalonde Starts A Friendship Under Peculiar Circumstances That Will Last A Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> **This work was not written by me.** It was written by my good friend Destiny (kevinstoley.tumblr.com), who doesn't have an AO3 account and allowed me to post it here so that I can keep all of the DKS AU things together in one place! She hasn't written in about a year so she thinks she's very rusty, but I think this is _incredible._ Happy reading!!

Ricky Lalonde had no idea what a custody battle was. He'd heard the words a lot, even tried to repeat them once or twice with his not-so-agile toddler tongue slobbering over the 's' sound in particular. But none of the miserable adults he'd been shuffled between during the last couple of months explained it properly. There were the grumbling men in suits who had shifty eyes and used the phrase excessively, along with words like and "jury" and "four-oh-one-kay'. There were the different nannies who had been hired and fired for one reason or another, who always seemed to change the subject when Ricky asked about his mother's growing tummy. There was also the secretary lady who was nice enough to give him a lolly, but then refused to look up from her computer screen when Ricky tried to ask her what her favorite color was. Still, none of these dreadfully boring grown ups acknowledged him long enough to maybe explain what custody was, and why he had to sit in this awful grey room for so long every Sunday because of it. Everything was hushed whispers and secrets lately, and Ricky didn't like it.  
  
Much to his dismay, it was currently Sunday, and he was already in that awful grey room, swinging his chubby legs over the edge of the chair and sucking on his pink lollipop. Pink was his favorite color. He was turning the pages of his coloring book and trying to find one that hadn't already been scribbled on, when the front door flew open. Ricky looked up in time to see a frazzled looking man stumble inside-- he was taller than most grown ups, Ricky thought, and he recognized him vaguely as the guy who wore goofy glasses and came every Sunday to this room, too. This week however, he was cradling a kid in his arm who looked about Ricky's age, someone he'd never seen before. She had a pink bow in her hair that Ricky immediately envied, and a certain detachment from everything as her stubby fingers tapped along the screen of her own iPad.  
  
"Sorry to do this to ya Renee, but the squirt's babysitter cancelled last second," the man said to the secretary, rather out of breath as he plopped his daughter in the chair next to Ricky. Renee didn't seem to have any response to this, so he kept going.  
  
"Swear to God she won't make a peep, iPad's got a full charge and her hankerin' for candy crush is impossible to satisfy. God, that bitch is gonna get a real kick out of how late I am."  
  
He left through the other door as quick as he'd come, still grumbling under his breath. Ricky wasted no time in trying to make friends.  
  
"I'm Ricky!" he exclaimed with a grin, turning to face her. She had the same color hair as Ricky did, but it was pulled onto the top of her hair with that cute little bow. She was squinting through a pair of silly glasses that looked just like her dad's; it was probably hard to see the game screen through shades. There was a pause, and Ricky was starting to think that he'd spoken too softly when he finally got a response.  
  
"Diana," she said, quietly. Ricky was thrillled with this information.  
  
"I'm two! And a half," he continued, holding up the proper amount of fingers. He folded his ring finger in half to make sure she got the idea. Diana shot him a look that was a mix of annoyance and boredom, then dropped her gaze back to her screen. Another few seconds, and she had lined up some huge combo that let her finish the level with twenty moves left.  
  
"I'm three."  
"Oh! You're bigger!"  
"Older. Yup."  
  
Ricky visibly deflated-- this girl talked a lot more like a grown up than he did. He was used to being able to talk the most like a grown up, more than anyone else in his preschool class. Even if he did lisp a little sometimes.  
  
"You want'a color?"  
"Not really."  
  
He was running out of questions, and she still wouldn't look up from her screen.  
  
"What's your favorite color?"  
"Orange."  
"You can use that one then," he babbled and hurried to pull out the orange crayon from his box. He had to think for a minute about which one was the orange, though. By the time he held it out to Diana, she seemed even more engrossed with her tablet than before. Maybe she was trying to ignore him. How many times in this stupid office had Ricky wished for someone to play with? He almost wanted to cry.  
  
"Hey, here's orange!" Ricky whined. He even poked Diana's arm with it, but she still wouldn't look up. Just as he was about to give up, she looked up and turned the screen slightly so that they could both see.  
  
"Got a drawing app. It's cooler than color books," she said with a proud little smile. As an example, she drew an orange circle with her finger in the corner of the screen. Ricky gasped loudly, dropped his crayons and reached out towards the iPad.  
  
"Gimme!"  
  
Diana glowered and stuffed the device under her skirt protectively.  
  
"No!"  
"Whyyyyy?"  
"Bro says other guys will break it!"  
"I won' break it!"  
"Will too!"  
  
Ricky was getting frustrated, but he could tell that Diana wasn't going to budge. If there was one thing he was good at, it was trying to keep the peace.  
  
"Will you draw somethin' on it? Lemme watch!"  
  
Diana seemed to relax at that, although she was still frowning as she pulled out the iPad again. She settled into her chair, crossed her legs Indian style and began drawing careful, shaky lines on the screen while Ricky leaned on her shoulder, watching her intently. About five minutes later the orange scribble resembled a bunch of boxes.  
  
"Wha's that?"  
"Robot!"  
  
Diana said that word more excitedly than anything else Ricky had heard her say. He grinned-- maybe she wasn't as boring as a grown up after all!  
  
"What'sa bo'bot?"  
"They're like co'puters, you can make 'em do cool stuff and you can make 'em outta metal. Bro helps me!"  
"Wow! What d'they do?"  
"Lotsa awesome stuff, one of them can help Bro fold his socks..."  
  
After that, there wasn't enough lollipops in Renee's candy dish to make the kids stop talking. First Ricky asked about robots, then about Diana's favorite apps, then about more normal kid things like Sesame Street because damn, they both agreed that show was the raddest shit this side of the playground. By the time the meeting finally dispersed, Renee looked like she was about to throw them both out the fifteenth floor window.  
  
"I told ya not to make a racket, damn it Squirt," Bro hissed under his breath as the secretary rattled on behind them. He scooped up Diana, tucked her under his arm like a football, and shot a nasty look at the scarfed woman who was helping Ricky pick up his crayons.  
"Keep your beard on Slim Shady, the kids were having some fun," she picked her son up and balanced his rear on her hip,  
"If you ask me they need it, your little bundle of doom, gloom and iPad is the whole reason I don't think you need any more in the first place."  
Bro scoffed, "Save it for the sessions, Lalonde."    
  
Even as the adults argued all the way to the parking lot, Ricky couldn't wipe the smile off his face, couldn't stop peering over at Diana to give one more wave goodbye. She promised she'd be back next week, that she could convince her Bro to bring her along again, and somehow Ricky believed that she had that kind of capability.  
  
He still didn't know what a custody battle was, or why they had to keep going to that small grey room with grumpy desk ladies, but Ricky really hoped it didn't stop any time soon.


End file.
